Shifting the 'baby weight' (mindset)...

As I placed my hands on my stomach in bed the night after Blu arrived, just like I had done every night for the previous months, I felt tender, saggy and a little bit empty.  Because although I loved every moment of meeting her and her being here, the feeling of having her to myself for those nine months is something you can’t forget easily. 

I studied myself in the mirror a lot with Luna, a new mum, trying to get back into my size 10 jeans and hoping that people would notice I’d lost my ‘baby weight’. 

But this time, three months into life as a mum of two, I am feeling more like myself than ever before.

Day two postpartum: How I loved those always pants

The changes...

If there’s one thing that nothing can prepare you for when having a baby, it’s the changes that becoming a mama does to your body. I was at my ‘thinnest’ right before I fell pregnant with Luna, as I was preparing to walk down the aisle. I still joke that Jo never did get to enjoy that body for very long after falling pregnant within weeks of us saying, ‘I do’. 

Of course, loving yourself after a nine-month pregnancy is hard, emotions are high, and parts of your body won’t go back to the way they were before. My hips for example, these bad boys were made for growing babies. 

I remember fondly back to when I met Jo, the first night we kissed I had actually been at a fancy-dress party and my teeny tiny 16-year-old belly was on show. There was no need to breath in back in those days, or wear slightly higher jeans than I do now, to squish it all in. I was young, living my best life and on a diet which consisted mainly of carbohydrates and Caribbean twist.

Fast forward ten years to just before our wedding, I was obsessed with the numbers that appeared as I weighed myself every second day. Other than that time, my weight has never been something that overly bothered me. Which is probably a good thing considering the amount of sugar I like to consume. 

As women our bodies change dramatically from our late teens to our twenties, never mind adding in having babies too.

It’s very easy for us to compare to each other in this fast-paced world full of perfect, whether we are comparing body sizes, our parenting skills, our homes, or the clothes we wear. The pressures we face in this modern world are unprecedented and something our mothers and our mothers-mothers never had to worry about.

And to add to these comparisons, we talk about how quickly we can get back into our pre-pregnancy jeans. As new mums we spend a lot of time sitting feeding, which leads to more time scrolling and seeing the standard 'perfect' on social media.

Love yourself

My sister laughed at me around four weeks after having Blu as I told her I looked amazing. It did sound a little big headed, but I really did – and do - feel amazing and I absolutely love my body now. Yes, it folds over a little when I bend, my boobs have shifted more south and my hair definitely has a lovely grey shimmer if I’m reaching my four week point between appointments. But I’m healthy and I have two beautiful healthy girls that I grew in this wiggly tummy of mine. High waisted jeans have become my new best friend!

Four weeks postpartum

Let’s face it, as mamas, we are incredible, and our bodies are pretty damn awesome too. How lucky are we that we get to experience what it’s like to grow these tiny humans, to feel their limbs in our rib cage and the need to pee eight times within the space of two hours because they think our bladder is a trampoline. 

Not exercising? Who cares…

After having both girls I had Diastasis Recti, and after having Blu I had a one to one appointment with a personal trainer so that I could get the correct exercises to bring my stomach muscles back together. I didn’t bother after my first pregnancy because I read it was likely to happen in future pregnancies and I didn’t want to get too stressed over it. And even now, I could count on one hand the amount of times I've done those exercises.

Other than that, and apart from walks with the pram to and from nursery, my exercise routine is basically non existent and for now I’m enjoying being mama. 

Being a mum of girls too, I think it’s so important to teach them body confidence and to not allow them to see me judge myself in the mirror. I want them to feel beautiful when they look in a mirror, and not criticise themselves. 

I don’t want them to see me pulling at the jiggly bits and checking myself from every angle to look for lumps and bumps.

When you look at yourself, look at yourself how your children see you. Perfection, at all times. They don’t care if you’re wearing makeup, if your hair has been in a mum-bun for the fourth day in a row, or what you’re wearing.

You're perfect!

Next time you feel like criticising yourself, imagine one of your children saying those words to him/herself. 

Of course it’s very easy for me to say this if you aren’t feeling in a positive place with your body and if you’re not in a good place, I hope you get there and you can see how beautiful and blessed you are. 

That ‘baby weight’ you’re carrying is longed for by others. 

Eleven weeks of Blu (I'm 100% breathing in here)

Photo credit: Kingshill Studios

If you’ve been around for a while and read some of my other posts you’ll know that I am big lover of the Law of Attraction, and I genuinely believe that if you feel confident in yourself, it strengthens your mindset, your mood and how you interact with others. And I truly believe that’s why I look pretty decent, because I feel it inside. Like attracts like and all that.

And instead of encouraging mums that they’ve done awesome to get back in their jeans, instead tell them they are an amazing mama and that they’re doing an amazing job. 

Because we are, every single one of us, each crazy day at a time. 

Big thank you to Susan at www.kingshillstudios.co.uk for capturing these precious memories